Pitiful Place
Script 10
MUSIC UP AND UNDER ANNCR This script aired on SCIM, Some Call It Madness
ANNCR:
It is true that into every life there falls a little rain, but for some, the clouds that pour down suffering seem never to clear from the sky. It is these wretched souls we join in a patient prayer for a bit of sunshine as we return to PITIFUL PLACE - any small town located just beyond the edge of sympathy. Our noble town council paddle furiously but futilely upstream toward the gaping growing hole in Compassion Dam which threatens their town, not to mention our imprisoned ladies aid society knee-deep in muddy preparation for their escape. Despite noble efforts they find calamity their only reward.
SOUND:
A RIVER
MAN #1:
If I weren't so noble, I wouldn't be here.
MAN #2:
George, sit down and shut up before you tip the canoe.
MAN #1:
Not me. Tip a canoe and George goes too.
MAN #2:
Down, George. Down.
MAN #1:
Ok. Ok. Just make a little room. Hey look...........out.
SOUND:
Confusion and falling into the water
ANNCR:
We find that the post of town humanitarian is still pending. Deciding the question, Neversin, our heroine, and Stella Cheat-a-lot, of questionable character, quietly battle for the post.
NEVERSIN:
But Stella, this is my big chance. You know how my accident put me out of circulation.
STELLA:
Forget it kid, a kind heat won't cover up those crutches - and besides, I need the money.
NEVERSIN:
If you don't let me have that post, so help me, I cut off all me hair.
DRAMATIC STINGER
ANNCR:
It looks as if Neversin, our heroine, is bound for baldness, for Betty Understanding has come to realize that disparagement, persecution and assault alone can not destroy her compassion. And now, helpless in her benevolence, she searches out the remaining town humanitarian Michael Lossi, to seek forgiveness and reinstatement.
BETTY:
Michael, can you ever forgive me.
MICHAEL:
That's what humanitarians are for............I think.
BETTY:
Michael, can I be reinstated.
MICHAEL:
Under one condition...
BETTY:
Yes, what is it?
MICHAEL:
You've got to learn not to care.
DRAMATIC STINGER
ANNCR:
Our sympathetic team together again, it is a must that their first object of compassion be our unhappy, debt ridden couple Normal Hummingdrum and Sorta Lacks. Gathering together the last of their belongings they set out, once more, for the pawn shop.
SORTA:
Have we got everything?
NORMAL:
Yeah, I guess so. How much do you think hot green stamps are worth in hock.
SORTA:
Gosh, I don't know. Wait. We forgot this.
NORMAL:
Oh no, you don't. Nobody, no matter how broke we get, nobody is going to pawn my teddy bear.
DRAMATIC STINGER
ANNCR:
Meanwhile back at the trail things are getting tense as Steven Bored, Rutly's childhood enemy turned soft, panics in his relentless search for a loophole in Pitiful Place prejudices.
STEVEN:
Just hang in there, Rut. I'll get you out of this.
RUT:
You're a real pal, Steven.
STEVEN:
If only it weren't for Stella.
RUT:
I could bump her too for you.
DRAMATIC STINGER
ANNCR:
Will Foul, our District Attorney, having recovered from the shock and climbed out of the dishwater into which he excitedly yet clumsily fell, he begins to realize the profound consequences of his wife's confession.
FOUL:
Dear, I've been doing some profound thinking about your confession.
WIFE:
Don't. The strain is bad for your heart.
FOUL:
And I've realized that I'm prosecuting the fiancee of the girl you hit. What can it mean?
WIFE:
I never was a very good driver anyway.
DRAMATIC STINGER
MUSIC: UP AND UNDER OVER ANNCR
ANNCR:
What twist of fate will bring the long desired relief to our unhappy pair. With this slim hope we leave this, our town of woe. Tune in next week for the continuing story of Pitiful Place.
WRTI-FM, March 12, 1966.
Script from the collection of Bill Stock
Conversion to HTML and upload by Gerry Wilkinson
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